Hari abasore bagirana ubucuti n’abakobwa bakunda, ariko uko igihe gihita ntibabashe kubinjiza mu rukundo rwa nyarwo.
Nubwo baba babitaho, babatega amatwi kandi bakababa hafi, hari imyitwarire ishobora gutuma abo bagore babafata nk’inshuti zisanzwe aho kubabona nk’abagabo bashobora gukundana na bo.
Dore impamvu umunani zishobora gutuma umugore akubona nk’inshuti gusa aho kuba umukunzi:
1. Utinya kumusaba ko mukundana kuko utinya kumutakaza
Hari abagabo bagirira umugore amarangamutima y’urukundo ariko bakabura ubutwari bwo kuyamubwira, batinya ko byasenya ubucuti bafitanye.
Aho kugira ngo bamubwire icyo bamwifuzaho, bamara amezi cyangwa imyaka bamuba hafi, bakamutega amatwi igihe afite ibibazo by’urukundo, bagahora biteguye kumufasha, bizeye ko umunsi umwe na we azabibonamo urukundo.
Icyakora, umugore ashobora gukomeza kukubona nk’inshuti kuko ari byo bikorwa byawe umwereka. Kuba uri inshuti nziza ntibivuze ko azahita agukunda mu buryo bw’urukundo. Niba umwifuza nk’umukunzi, ni byiza kumubwira uko umwiyumvamo mu cyubahiro, ukamuha uburenganzira bwo gufata icyemezo.
2. Kwita ku bandi no kubashimisha ni byo byonyine bikuranga
Kugira umutima mwiza ni ingenzi, ariko kuba umuntu mwiza gusa ntibihagije kugira ngo undi muntu agukunde.
Hari abagabo batekereza ko kwemera ibyo umugore avuze byose, bagahora bamushima kandi bakirinda kumuvuguruza, bizatuma amaherezo abakunda.
Nyamara, iyo uhora wemera buri kintu cyose kugira ngo umushimishe, ashobora kutamenya uwo uri we mu by'ukuri. Ni ngombwa kugira ibitekerezo byawe, intego, ibyo ukunda n'ubushobozi bwo kugaragaza aho mutandukaniye mutabangamiranye.
3. Ntiwerekana hakiri kare icyo umwifuzaho
Hari igihe umugore akubona nk'inshuti kubera ko utigeze umwereka ko hari ikindi umwifuzaho kitari ubucuti.
Ibiganiro byanyu byose biba ari iby'inshuti zisanzwe, guhura kwanyu kukaba ukw'abantu basanzwe baziranye, ukirinda kugaragaza ko umwifuza kubera gutinya ko yakubona nk'umuntu umwihutisha.
Uko igihe gihita, ubucuti bwanyu burushaho gukomera, kuko ari bwo mwubaka.
Nta kibi kiri mu kuba inshuti mbere yo gukundana, ariko guhisha amarangamutima yawe igihe kirekire bishobora gutera urujijo. Niba wifuza ko mwakundana, ni byiza kubimugaragariza mu buryo bwubaha amarangamutima ye.
4. Uhora uhari ku bwe igihe cyose agukeneye
Kuba umuntu wiringirwa kandi witeguye gufasha abandi ni byiza, ariko guhora usubika gahunda zawe kugira ngo ushimishe umugore bishobora gutuma utita ku buzima bwawe bwite.
Hari abagabo bahora bahagarika ibyo bari gukora, bagasubika gahunda zabo cyangwa bakirengagiza inshuti zabo igihe cyose umugore abakeneye, bibwira ko kumwereka ko bamuhora hafi bizatuma abakunda.
Nyamara, ibyo bishobora gutuma batakaza umwanya wabo n'ibyo bagomba kwitaho, cyane cyane iyo amarangamutima yabo atagaruwe.
Ni byiza kumarana na we igihe kuko wishimira ubucuti mufitanye, ariko ntibikwiye kuba uburyo bwo kumugurira urukundo. Nawe ugomba kugira gahunda, inshingano n'ibikorwa byawe bwite.
5. Nta marangamutima y'urukundo abahuza mwembi
Umugore ashobora kukugirira icyizere, akakubwira ibimuri ku mutima, akishimira kuba uri inshuti ye ndetse akifuza ko ugira ibyishimo, ariko ntakugirire amarangamutima y'urukundo.
Ubucuti n'urukundo biratandukanye, nubwo byombi bishingira ku cyizere, kubahana no kumvikana.
Hari abagabo batekereza ko kumarana igihe n'umugore, kumumenya neza no kugirana na we ibiganiro byimbitse bizatuma amaherezo amukunda. Nyamara, amarangamutima y'urukundo ntashobora gutegekwa cyangwa gutezwa imbere n'imbaraga z'umuntu umwe gusa.
Niba akubona nk'inshuti gusa, ni ngombwa kubyubaha aho kumurakarira cyangwa kumva ko hari icyo akurimo.
6. Ntugaragaza icyizere ufite muri wowe igihe muri kumwe
Kugira ubwoba iyo uri kumwe n'umuntu ukunda ni ibisanzwe, ariko guhora ushidikanya ku byo uvuga cyangwa ukora bishobora kubangamira imibanire yanyu.
Ushobora gusanga utekereza cyane ku butumwa umwoherereza, ugasaba imbabazi ku bintu bitari ngombwa cyangwa ukirinda gutanga ibitekerezo byawe kubera gutinya ko atazongera kukwishimira.
Ibyo bishobora gutuma atamenya uko witwara iyo wisanzuye.
Kwigirira icyizere ntibivuze kwishyira hejuru cyangwa kwigira undi muntu. Bisobanura kumva wisanzuye, ukavuga ibitekerezo byawe kandi ukemera ko bidashoboka ko buri muntu wese akunda uko uri.
7. Witiranya kuba akugisha inama no kuba agukunda
Kuba umugore akubwira ibibazo bye, akakugisha inama cyangwa akakubwira ibanga rye ntibivuze ko aba ashaka ko mukundana.
Ashobora kuba akugirira icyizere, akabona uri umuntu ushobora kumva ibibazo bye no kumufasha kubitekerezaho, ariko akakubona nk'inshuti gusa.
Hari abagabo bibeshya ko kuba umuntu umugisha inama no kumuba hafi mu bihe bikomeye bizatuma amaherezo abona ko ari bo bagomba gukundana.
Ibi bishobora kubakururira agahinda kuko baba bategereje urukundo rutigeze rwumvikanwaho hagati yabo. Ni byiza gufasha umuntu kuko umwitayeho, aho kubikora utegereje ko azaguha urukundo nk'igihembo.
Niba kumubera inshuti bikugora kubera amarangamutima umukunda, ushobora gufata intera kugira ngo urusheho gusobanukirwa n'uko wiyumva.
8. Ukomeza kumwirukaho kandi yarakweruriye ko atagukunda
Rimwe mu makosa abagabo bakora ni ukwibwira ko gukomeza kwihangana, kumwitaho bizatuma umugore amaherezo ahindura uko akubona.
Iyo umugore yakweruriye ko akubona nk'inshuti gusa, gukomeza kumusaba urukundo bishobora gutuma ubucuti bwanyu buhinduka ikibazo kuri mwembi.
Nta muntu ugomba urukundo rw'undi kubera ko yamubereye indahemuka, yamuhaye impano cyangwa yamufashije mu bihe bikomeye.
Ushobora kwiyubaka, kongera icyizere wigirira no kugera ku ntego zawe, ariko ibyo ntibivuze ko umugore runaka agomba guhita agukunda.
Rimwe na rimwe, icyemezo cyiza ni ukwemera uko undi yiyumva ugakomeza ubuzima bwawe. Urukundo rwiza rukwiye kuba urw'abantu bombi babyifuza, aho kuba urwo umwe ahora aharanira gushimisha undi kugira ngo arubone.